Counselor Brundle is a genius. Well, mostly a genius. He made some brilliant observations and was immensely helpful, especially with the "once you are comfortable" part of "make like rabbits." It think that's what I was doing wrong all along and why he's so perfect for me. I move too fast and he retreats. I'm learning patience. Weird how this lesson applies when I have only three months left until the moment of reckoning.

I think Milton has the potential to be quite a reasonable dancer. He's light on his feet, he has a lot of grace and even though he's short he still exudes… something. Maybe it was that sexy cologne he was wearing. I can't believe he went out and got Caitian cologne for me. He likes me, a lot, and is still a bit timid to admit it. Patience. Patience. Patience. In your own time Milton, you know your deadline. I'm right here, and I'm waiting.

But for now, I need to know more about what he expects from me. Let's see, a little research is in order. How do I work this thing again? Search? Waitaminute! Everything's backwards! Oh, silly me, that was the Romulan search function. Here we go. Input Durga. And now I think I push this button here… no, that's the resort weather report. Okay, try again. Back up and press this button… and… YAY!

Okay, what do we have here? Durga, a warrior Goddess and demon slayer in Indian mythos. Her name literally means "Beyond Reach' or Unattainable. Hmm, interesting. Depicted as a multi-armed Goddess riding a lion or a tiger. Oh my Goddess this is getting creepy. Oh good, a virgin Goddess. For a second there it was hitting me a bit close to home. Lion or tiger indeed, much less slaying his demons… What the hell is this? Representing the violence in male-female oppositions? Is this what Milton sees in me? Something beyond his reach? Great GODDESS! A woman with a fiery temperament is often nicknamed Durga in recognition of her divine spark? Raj called me that all the time! Oh my… I need a sip of tea before I can read on…

Now where was I? Females identified as what is sacred in nature, not only as a warrioress, but as playful, lovable and as a mother. Huh, I've never heard of menstruation as a 'special creativity' before, but why not? Some of these paintings are fabulous, and a bit idealized for the human frame… but not mine… Full breasts and narrow waist and ample hips in order to bear and sustain their creations? Check, check, and check. Let's read on before I pass out here. Important feminine images, a woman dancing. I think I have that covered. A woman adjusting her anklets. I have some of those in my Orion dancing gear. A woman drummer. This is getting creepier but I'll rearrange a few things to make my drum more prominent. A mother with her infant in her arms. That's easy. A woman smelling a lotus… Lotus Petal and Little Lotus? The swords? No, couldn't be. Could it? A woman playing with a parrot. Like that would happen, the thing wouldn't last ten minutes with my cubs… but I could put a print up in the bathroom…

Oh these saris are beautiful! I must have one, or ten. This is too weird again, they wrap almost like my Orion dance costume. Hmm, some shrink named Carl Jung said this about the sari, "It would be a loss to the whole world if the Indian woman should cease to wear her native costume. India is practically the only civilized country where one can see on living models how woman can and should dress." Well Milton, is this how I can and should dress? I'll save the Orion dance outfit for a later date and just go with a more traditional model when the time is right.

Jewelry and ornamentation. My favorite. The Bindi, the third eye of fire, where the other eyes see only past and present the Bindi sees the future. Oh my, this gets weirder and weirder. Am I seeing something here or am I reading a little too far in? Is that what compelled me to buy that ruby tiara all those years ago? Okay, calm down and next. Something for married women, next. Oh. My. Goddess. That's what that tiara is, a Tika. It's an ornament for women about to take the vows of matrimony. Oh. My. Goddess. I just bought it because I thought it looked pretty. Oh gross eyeliner, use a little much? Nose rings. I can do those. Necklaces, worn near the heart to strengthen love and to ward off evil spells. Heehee, too late, I'm already under your evil spell, Milton. Karn Phool, the ear flower. Elaborate earrings to denote status and wealth. Ear flower? Oh Goddess… My natural ears unfold like a flower… I'm never wearing my prosthetics again… Ooooh! Mehndi! I love this! I used to decorate my forearms and under my eyes all the time! Oh, it's associated with a maiden's blossoming into womanhood and applied just before marriage! I think I'll do a little doodle anyway. My arms are perfect for it, like… tailor made… by the Goddess… Must forge on… Bangles! Just how many bracelets can someone stack on? Hehehe, I think I'll shock him someday soon. Hmm, I'll put on an armband too. This is creepy just how close this is to Orion dress and culture… A mirror on a thumb ring to check your hair, now that is practical. Must have one. Elegant hairstyles… I might try that. I love those belts, and again, I have several, all Orion. Toe rings attach to anklets, have those too, with bells even. Perfumes, have many, what girl doesn't, and wedding dresses, which I already have in mind thank you very much.

My Goddess, I see now where You lead me. You have clearly made me for Milton and I accept your charge. I thank You for Your grace and mercy. I thank You for the trials through which You have put me to prepare me for this, Your perfect male. I apologize most profusely for terming Your gift a half a male for I know that all Your gifts are perfect and righteous. Please guide me throughout this coming trial for I will listen.

Citing my sources: Exotic India Art. Excellent site, highly recommended.