Blessings of the Mother Goddess Milton finally kissed me. Helovesmehelovesmehelovesme! Well, he hasn't said it yet his kiss screamed out his love.

Now I need him so badly I ache all over. We were enjoying a hot tub soak in the Officer's Gym at one of those odd hours when the place is virtually deserted and we talked about anything and mostly nothing until he suddenly seized up. I felt I was losing him again when I noticed we were completely alone. I gently touched his foot with mine hoping to coax him out of his fear and to my surprise he followed my retreat! It was a scary, yet thrilling feeling to have the gentle touch of his foot, then feet caressing mine and I think it showed. He grew bolder and slid around the tub to put his arm around my shoulder. I shivered under his graceful caress as he ran his fingers through my whiskers. With each stroke I felt as though an arc of electricity shot down my spine and I groaned and rubbed my whiskers more insistently against his hand. Then he kissed me and I felt like I'd died and gone to heaven. It was just a peck on the cheek but his free hand was exploring my thigh and I shied away from his sudden surge of intense sexual power. Oh great Goddess but he pursued! The hand with which he stroked my whiskers became like a vice against my jaw as he turned my head to receive his full kiss against my lips! Oh the burning warmth of his kiss, the hunger behind it, his hand slowly exploring my abdomen, I felt as though he aimed to devour my very essence! I was so weak in his arms, like a newborn cub, I couldn't escape, I couldn't push him away and he took the full warmth of my mouth with his as he explored my body with his free hand. He rolled on top of me and pinned me quite securely with his knee pressed deep between my thighs. I groaned as he firmly grasped the scruff of my neck with one hand. I nearly cried out when with his other hand he slowly, painstakingly, pulled my body up the length of his thigh to claim another, deeper, longer kiss. I was beyond a shadow of a doubt his conquest to do with as he pleased. Electric fire ignited my senses and I felt I would lose consciousness in his grip when he abruptly pulled back and slid out of the hot tub. I'd lost him again, but this time it was due to an arrival in the gym, notably Counselor Brundle. So much for premarital counseling on this ship. I slipped away unnoticed as well and waited outside the men's change room for half an hour before I had the presence of mind to ask the computer where Milton went. He'd gone back to his quarters and I was due on duty in five minutes. Cursing myself for getting infatuated with a male who's embarrassed to be seen with me in public I went directly to Sickbay only to find a single red rose on my desk. No note, just his scent on the stem. And that's all the note of apology I need. I love you Milton.

But what a week leading up to that. After the latest incident in the holodeck where I very nearly lost my hands but for Milton's quick action with my medical tool I felt I'd lost him for good. Great Goddess what a man he his, I hardly feel worthy to know him, much less to have received his kisses. I decided to take my place and obey his wish that I wait for his lead. I did so and we did not speak for four days. He was clearly exhibiting his authority through his self-restraint. Goddess, what a man.

Unable to wait any longer I conceded defeat and put out a lure. I hosted a lecture on the history of bladed weapons throughout the Federation and drew a good turnout. Most of the audience was hormone addled boys wishing for a chance to leer at me but he came in a little late and sat near the back. To my credit he took out his PADD and started jotting notes when I got to some of the more exotic Vulcan and Romulan blade styles and their uses. I think he might have been flattering me in his subtle way of going about things because he's so smart I don't know what I know that could possibly be of interest to a man like him. But still, after the lecture and after he quite soundly elbowed aside an idiot who thought he was being subtle in looking down my top he asked me to dinner, or lunch as I was used to it. We each had a drink and he took my hand in our quite alcove in the corner away from prying eyes. He is such a romantic the way he sets the scene. We talked and he showered flattery on my undeserving head calling my lecture… how did he put it… "precise and informative for all levels of interest." He is too good to me. Remembering myself and my strategy of taking my time and patiently waiting I excused myself to my shift a little early and to my surprise he graciously held my chair and bid me a good night. No moaning, no wheedling, no poorly thought out cheap tricks to try to get me to stay so he could get me drunk and into his bed. He was a model of gentlemanly behavior. A rare jewel is he.

I avoided him entirely the next day to see if he kept up the chase and I am utterly flattered by his perseverance, no less than two messages and a get well card expressing concern about my health. Well, I guess I have been looking a bit under the weather, the stress of my potential leaving and shedding season will do that. Spring shedding, what rotten luck, it will take weeks for me to grow the sides of my mane back out and the less Kzin I look can only be to my benefit. But with the way he speaks of Tarra what of my lineage? I told Milton off, or at least I tried to by sharing some very personal history with him and he grew very quiet afterwards. If any of our dates was a dud that one was a doozy and it ended quite coldly.

Again I skipped a day and this time he didn't call for me at all, until very late at night when I was at work. He sent me an invitation to bring my wtsai to practice the next day for some "slow motion" defensive technique comparisons. My randomizer told me to decline but I ignored it and went anyway. We worked back and forth in slow motion for about an hour and while we were putting the weapons away I don't know exactly what came over me but the sight of his back was too delicious a sight and I pounced him quite soundly. At first I kicked myself for doing so and expected a terrible fight and I was pleased when he did not. I whispered in his ear to expect the unexpected, and discovered he'd gone almost completely catatonic! I began rubbing his tense back and madly thinking what to do! Then it dawned on me. He suffers from post traumatic stress disorder, or shell shock. Until I can gauge just how bad off he is I'll just handle him gently and now I understand his aversion to Tarra. Sometime while I was thinking on the subject of mood altering drugs I began to scratch his back and he quite visibly relaxed. Before long I had his shirt off and he was purring louder than I could possibly manage myself. He mentioned something about my backscratch being better than sex and I replied saying that he hasn't tried sex with me yet. That killed the conversation immediately and I got more than a little nervous and excited when he asked me to come to his room. He'd made a few alterations, notably he'd gotten rid of my decorations and the loveseat but the offering dish remained where it was and the Lotus blossoms still graced his desk and most preciously my holo still sat on his vanity. He asked me to sit down and look out the window for a moment and so I sat down on his bed expecting to be blindfolded or some such other kinky game. Instead he gave me a missing piece of my life. He gave me a handful of holovideo and stills of my mother during her Captaincy of the Tang! I couldn't control myself, I hugged him and kissed him and cried on his shoulder and told him he was the most wonderful man in the whole galaxy and generally made a complete lovesick fool of myself in the process. We laid back together on his bed and watched the holos while he told me stories about the mother I never knew. We had dinner there getting crumbs and scraps all over his bedspread in the process and then we almost fought over who would clean up finally settling on the both of us grabbing the corners of the comforter and shaking the crumbs out in the shower to be disintegrated. While I quite likely would have been his to keep for the evening he in his wisdom and high moral fiber refused to abuse my trust and booted me out under orders to "get some damned sleep."

After that day he held my heart on a string, my randomizer strategy went out the window and I jumped at any chance to see him unless it meant neglecting my cubs, even then I tried to include them in Milton's plans whenever possible. He is a man unused to having children around but I suspect that his high standard of conduct and his gentle compassion will get the better of that given time. I saw him with K'Torr that one time in a fishing expedition. I was barely able to stand so tired was I and Milton, bless him, ordered me to go lie down and I was only grateful to obey. As I dozed I watched the pair sitting on a rock dangling their feet in the water while T'Saal laid curled up next to my belly and purred contentedly. I remember her asking if Milton was to be called "daddy." I told her to call him "Uncle Milton" and to my surprise she's been remarkably obedient.

He is definitely a talented and brilliant man, Milton. In a few short days he'd mastered over a dozen steps, more than enough to put on a display of competence on the dance floor and so I pointed out the crew mixer that evening, hoping against hope he would come. He replied affirmative almost immediately to my message and met me at my door a half-hour before the dance as I asked for his assistance with a particularly difficult dress. I wore my indigo corset dress, the one that changes hue slightly with temperature and had the busk done up awaiting his assistance with the laces. I knew I'd picked a winner the way his jaw hung momentarily slack upon seeing me and he said it was an honour and a pleasure to help me dress. He was gorgeous. He smelled wonderful and his shoes had a nearly unreal shine. He wore white gentleman's gloves and I said nothing of our prior agreement since his choice in jackets matched them beautifully. Besides, I was wearing gloves all the way up to my biceps and was in no position to be cheeky. I still remember his light yet firm touch with the laces as I clung to the rod over my Prevail painting. He worked slowly and methodically making certain everything was just right. While he pulled the laces more and more taut he asked me about the painting to which I gave him the only answer I have. "What does it mean to you?" He didn't answer that, as is the painting's intent, but rather he went back about lacing and reflecting silently to himself. I must have gained a bit of girth in the past year as I could barely move when he finished and tied the laces off but it was no matter knowing that the dress would loosen up given a few minutes. We went arm in arm heedless of the stares we drew for looking so good. At the door to the auditorium the dress had loosened up just enough but Milton spun me around and gave them another good tightening. I protested of course but my heart melted and I almost fell into his eyes when he said, "There. You're absolutely beautiful." I could barely move much less eat throughout the evening, which is a stellar example of his wisdom since using the restroom is an arduous chore in that dress, but he led me like a master at the craft of dance. I refuse to believe he's never danced before. He held me so close and we stayed almost joined at the hip long after the last couple had fled the floor. The night was ours and I never wanted it to end. I knew by the way that he wouldn't let me go he felt the same way. And so we didn't let it end and he kissed me and stole my heart.

And so I'll wait for you Milton. You've been so patient and consistent coming to me at 22:00 every night to take me to dinner before my shift. The very next time you come I'll be waiting for you with the gift of my heart and all that comes with it.