Life is choosing paths.
Will you find your way to me?
Come inside my Lord.

Oh Great Goddess I'm utterly speechless. She has indeed quite the sense of humour in granting Her gifts. Tonight was the most horrible and the most wonderful night of my life. Milton finally stated his intent towards me and I now know how I am expected to behave if I am to be a part of his household. He and I will have to discuss this in detail as I do not wish my cubs to get the impression that it is always the female's duty to be subservient to the male. Not just for T'Saal's sake but also for K'Torr's. In no way must he learn to view females as property to possess. I will not fly in the face of my brother's dream of equal opportunity between the sexes by making my own cubs little mirrors of the old order. I will serve Milton as I now serve my slumbering mother lying in my own bed, quietly and in my own fashion. The Goddess made me what I am for Her purpose and although I am at my most content when serving and dancing for my heart's desire my most intimate displays of servitude must remain behind closed doors. Worry not my Lord, the tassels will cross your palm again but even when they are not in spirit there I still remain bound by the wrists to you.

Perhaps my recollection would be best served in letters.

Begin letter:

My Dearest Lord Milton,

Good fortune to you and blessings of the Goddess.

First I must thank you for a delightful evening even if the Goddess has been whimsical of late with Her brand of humour. I kept my mother's pending arrival a secret at first because I did not know you well enough to make a decision on whether or not to tell you. Then after your most blessed gift of the holographs the other night and your unswerving regard for my virtue I decided it would be most appropriate to save her arrival as a surprise to show you just how much better she is now. Come to think of it, if it were not for you she would not be here today, and…

My Lord, this is very difficult for me to say and no doubt it will be difficult to hear but it must be said.

I, K'Lynxyl-Physician, daughter of M'Rander and Chaal Riit feel I owe Milton Dammers my life.

Why do I find you so irresistibly attractive? Is it a gratitude thing? No. Looking out for one another is what you do in a pride. Is it your good looks? Hardly, I've turned down better looks than yours. Is it that you, alone, evaded a war fleet of Kzintosh? Well, maybe. That sort of cunning and prowess is hopelessly sexy.

Is it that despite all your trials you still found it in your heart to care for my mother despite the risk of her succumbing to the hunger madness? Definitely. You sheltered her immediately and without question. You thought I was going to harm Demian in sickbay, and you moved to protect him immediately and without question. You took a stand in New California against the evil regime immediately and without question. You sheltered me from the police at the bus stop immediately and without question. When I needed to know about my mother and from where I came you showed me immediately and without question. When I needed your caress and your love you gave it immediately and without question.

I see in you the potential to be a Heroic male, so you must understand why it hurt and confused me to see you not willing to care for Demian's cubs immediately and without question.

Then there is the matter of coincidence. Is it coincidence that the Goddess put me through the crucible of idiot males? Is it coincidence She forged in me the spirit of protector, healer and caregiver? Is it coincidence that as soon as I was ready it was I who opened your cryo tank? I think not, we talked about karma, and here it is. I feel She formed me in that darkened ship for you, to provide, to care for, to serve, and to love… you. So here I am Milton. All you have to do is fulfill the promise you bit into my neck before the end of June.

That said, if I might borrow from the philosopher Mark Twain, on my honour as daughter of M'Rander of Cait and Chaal Riit of Kzin I vow to you my Lord that I will dance for you like no one is watching. I will live for you like I'll never die. I will love you like I've never been hurt.

Now I've gone and gotten all sniffly. But back to the subject of my mother. It comes as great surprise to me that she has been granted command of the Freedom, especially after the glowing report I submitted on Captain Lee's performance and the fact that the last I was aware she was a psychiatric patient assigned to my care. I will review all the documents and regulations pertaining to this as soon as possible. On the one hand this disturbs me greatly and unless I find the paperwork to be in order I will still be a bit nervous. On the other hand, she has been in treatment for over twenty-eight years and with the care provided to Starfleet personnel who fall in the line of duty it does not surprise me that she could possibly be found fit for duty. Just because someone is old does not mean they should be cast aside and perhaps this is the support for Captain Lee I requested in a form I did not expect. You spoke so highly of my mother's ability as Captain, perhaps she was assigned command to act as a role model for aspiring command officers. If your high praise of her is any indication I suspect this could be a very good thing. Time will tell, but would you do me the honour of helping me assemble and analyse the paperwork regarding her assignment? I am most interested in her most recent psychiatric assessment.

On a happier and more intimate note I'll have you know I'm having trouble sitting down properly right now thank you very much. It's been such a long time since I've had the pleasure of a male's company I feel as though I've very nearly been torn in two. =~.o= And a pleasure it was indeed my Lord. I am divided on my mother's forced entry to my quarters. It was terribly rude but if I were she I would have done the very same thing. They wouldn't even let me touch her fur as a little girl but instead put us on opposite sides of a piece of glass where I could not even smell her scent. Please forgive her, I forgive her, and please understand that I will be spending as much time with her as our duties allow. But for you my Lord I will make time even if I must hurl myself around a sun to be with you. I close with the suggestion that you may wish to study the Japanese tea ceremony for I will hold one for you in the near future. I love you my Lord, and we have much to discuss.

Your little Orion dancer,

Lynx

End letter:

Begin letter:

Prrre Talloran Murri:

Joy and glad tidings we finally after all these long years we can finally… meet?

My heart fills with rage against father for hurting you so badly the that the scars robbed you of the chance to raise the cubs he gave you. My heart was once filled with shame for being a symbol of your pain but now it leaps with joy to know that although I have not always been a model of virtue I have still earned my path by wit and claw if necessary and hope I am thus the daughter you deserve. I have a gift for you my mother but I fear I can only give it when the time is right, and that time is quickly approaching. For now I offer my love and all the time I can spare. Your grandcubs are accustomed to a fishing expedition in the morning before school so after the staff meeting I feel it would be most appropriate to introduce them to you in a place where they feel safe and secure. There you can also watch me fish the way I learned while in the girl's school in Alaska. It would please me to show you where from I earned the Bear Totem. The air will be chilled and it would honour me if you would wear my shawl. I do hope Milton will accompany, for the first time in my life I feel all the pieces of my life and all the holes in my heart are together in their proper place. Welcome home mother.

I apologise for being short with you last night but with my duties to the ship, the retreating chase after a kind man, and my duties as beta female to triplet infants I fear I have not slept well or at all for many months. Fortunately the nanny I hired for Commander Tempres has arrived and my duties with regard to his cubs should lessen in the near future. I am still divided on how I should proceed with regard to them, as they have recently begun to recognise me as their mother. Fran is a wonderful girl and humanoid at the very least so she is more suited to the raising of humanoid children. I hope the Commander appreciates her. But now I'm meandering. Last night was the first night in a long time I slept peaceably and well and I fear I resented the intrusion. I have lived my entire life on my own with the exception of one excellent mentor whom I wish you to meet when circumstance permits. It will be a challenge for me to learn to share space with both a husband and a mother but I have never backed down from a challenge yet and I will not start now. Did I inherit that from you? =~.o= But what's done is done and after having the time to think and a bowl of strong tea your intrusion was only an act of the greatest of love. I remember your hands desperately pawing at the glass and you pleading to be allowed to hold me, if only for a little while. I remember the anguish in your eyes when the orderlies forced you into a straightjacket and I remember being filled with rage to see you so badly mistreated. Woe to any whom would mistreat you in that way ever again for I fear I would kill them on the spot. No one harms my pride. No one.

Speaking of mistreating you and a kettle of rage I must speak to you on the subject of Mister Brundle. When I saw he had hurt you, your arm is mending nicely by the way although you will need to take something for pain for a few days, I resisted the urge to hunt him down and kill him. Milton has taught me a valuable lesson on what is truly important, I must care for the pride first and let the warriors do their work without my interference. That said and again after thinking on the subject I must point out to you that Mister Brundle has an abnormally strong love of his crewmates and wishes nothing more than to see to their comfort and safety. He takes great exception to any threat to their wellbeing, real or imagined, making him indeed a valuable Ship's Counselor. He himself has given me his ear and dispensed sage and kind advice on at least one occasion and I plead on his behalf for your mercy. Please let me talk to him, let me explain to him a thing or two that he should know. I believe he can serve you well as Counselor because he has a temper. I never liked anyone who didn't have a temper. If you don't have a temper, you don't have any passion. Brundle is consistently and genuinely Brundle. I like Brundle. He has a passion unequalled for the safety and wellbeing of the crew of this ship. Please consider my plea mother. Maybe a few deck swabs in the gym might show him who is in charge but I feel it would be counterproductive to whip the one person other than the First Officer whose duty it is to challenge you from time to time into an obedient lapdog.

Great Goddess what a heavy load of thoughts. I conclude with this before I take a short nap. I have always sought to be the best I can be, as I imagined you would have me be. I am who I am and I am not ashamed to be your daughter any more than I am ashamed to be the daughter of Chaal Riit. Being who I am makes me the product of two of the best of who they were, and in your case, still are. I love you mother.

Your proud daughter,

K'Lynxyl Physician

End letter:

Okay, now send all queued. =o.O= NO! Not all to all! Great GODDESS, I just sent this entire log entry to both of them! You stupid machine!

::Facedesks repeatedly::

Okay. Okay. It's not too bad, it's honest, concise, and it only went to two parties. Bound by the wrists indeed, I'd better make certain mother's blood pressure medication is strong when she reads that. As for Milton, I hope that doesn't scare him away. I hope he… ::purr:: Yes, I do hope he…